Sunday, May 15, 2011

Reflection Week One

Sitting is the forest, having no human surveillance around me, surrounded by calm yet absolute nature was the first experience in many years. There was no sense of fear, expectation, hierarchy, nor trend. It was me, being present. There was possibility, excitement, and enjoyment of being there. "What is possible?" this is the question I ask over the time of this dialogue. It is the question of what is possible to me, without fear or any other parameters. How can I work on this question in this constantly moving society? How can I not to care about other parameters? I have not come up with a good solution yet. But one thing I learned from the time I spent in the forest was the importance of being present. The present is the only controllable element and the actionable time. What can I do right now? Speaking of controllability, control is the my keyword when I think of wild. I myself is the only controllable element. City is dynamic and always changing; I see city is wild like the forest. It is not in my control. The significance of my presence in the city or in the forest is both small. Regardless of my presence, the sound was there and my contribution to the music was relatively small. Yet I enjoyed this uncontrollableness of city and forest. "Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it". This saying brings me back the initial question of what is possible. Knowing the insignificance of my presence, it is very important that you do what you believe in. Although I am not entirely sure what I want to do in life, I am becoming more optimistic about where I am right now; I am about to find out what works and what not. All I have to do is figuring out how/where I can give a shout and try things that interest me and keep trying until I find it. Keep tying, don't settle. Probably this is the best thing I got from the retreat.
Another note I would like to make in the first week is Naomi Steinberg's Workshop. She emphasized the importance of deep listening. Listening to know who your audiences are, listening to know what is around you, and listening to know who you are. She also reminded us of the importance of our personal stories. You might undervalue your personal stories, but it is often a great story to share and we can learn so much from sharing those stories.
I am greatly looking forward to listening many other personal stories and sharing my stories in this course.

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